apparently i hit the invisible button. how the hell did that happen? where did i go? this is a shitty feeling. probably my biggest pet peeve is being ignored. or pushed aside. i do not mean to be unreasonable in thinking i will always be a priority in anyone else's life besides my own, but goodness gracious. technology is bittersweet. life is, too. how can any ONE person possibly know what a person is experiencing that is not their own? perhaps i am selfish. perhaps i am disrespectful. perhaps i am only attempting to do what's best in order to take care of myself. my heart hurts and my stomach is in knots. i didn't sleep at all last night and tonight isn't looking too good either. which is a shame, because this day started out wonderful. i'd just like to know how to reappear before one's eyes. do i have to disappear completely before i will even go unnoticed? i am not one for games, and i fear it may become that. i will try my hardest to keep it from doing so. i am generally one to say what's on my mind. but even that gets me into trouble as well. i am angry. and the only one person that can fix that is myself. no one can make me happy. no one will make me feel loved. i must rely on myself. but damnit aren't we on this earth to coexist? to be interdependent? have i lost my mind? or is the invisible button still on?