martin has fully recovered from our europe adventure. scariest experience ever. and it opened a lot of doors that i'm currently dancing underneath, attempting to decide if i should walk through them or backstep. i've never been fond of backstepping. too old-fashioned for me.
oh, opened doors, what do you have to offer me? insight on who i am. ideas of whom i'd like to become. thoughts of who i no longer wish you be. reinventing myself, over and over again. is that what this life is for? (oh god, i almost sounded like an effing "Creed" song. PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!....why am i shouting??) i am not perfect. and i am learning to accept that. and also love my imperfections. but also attempting to be as kind to myself as i am to others when they are going through such transitional changes. accept. breathe. in. out. accept.
life has given me quite the amazing obstacles recently, as well as new and fun games to play! i have loved. i have stopped loving. i have hurt. i have cried. i have felt cheated. i have had no faith in life or love. i have had new visions. i have felt. i have liked. i love. i am loved.
latest and greatest? sweet apple, what delicious and tasty adventures do you have in store for me? that's right. i'm doing it. (no, not american pie style, come on.) i'm moving to nyc. i am feeling a wide variety of emotions. excitement. anxiety. fear. desire. confidence. insecurity. i am feeling them all, and i am soaking it all in. i am aware. and i am alive.
the plan is to be in nyc by may/june of this year. holy shitballs. that's right, ladies and gentlemen. i will be there in less than three months. wait, what?! less than three months?! let me say that again. HOLY SHITBALLS. mmmm, ok..thanks, i feel better now. i am SO excited to see what that beautiful city has to offer me. it will tear me down. it will hold me up. it will piss me off. it will make me happy. it will make me sad. it will bring me joy. it will make me irritated. it will tell me to speed up. i will try to slow it down.
nyc is going to challenge every sense of my being, and i'm game. bring it on. (oh it has already been broughten! boom!)
