who how?

how is it that one person, surrounded by such beauty and loving people, can feel so lonely?

i have never felt so lucky and so grateful for my loved ones and the opportunities that are being placed before me. and yet, i feel lonely. ??? i feel like i have so much love to give, and i LOVE to give my love to those around me. but perhaps i am not saving any of that love to give to myself. it's not the easiest thing to do, for anyone really, to give the same amount or intensity of love to themselves, as they do to others. it is something i am practicing. i realize it may never be something that i can perfect, but is something definitely worth attempting to do.

i went to martin's energy worker, Jude. she is an incredibly kind and gentle soul. i was instantly comfortable baring my soul to her, telling her all the pain i'd locked up for so many years...things that even some of my closest friends know nothing about. after many tears shed and blockages released during my appointment, i left feeling as light as a feather. as if i could float up into the sky and walk amongst the clouds. even better was the love i felt. the love i felt warming my soul, the love i felt for my family, my friends, for Britton...and more importantly the love i felt for myself. i left feeling invincible. nothing would ruin my day. i felt whole. complete. and radiating with love.

i want to get back to that place.